AlwaysGame4Life Podcast
A podcast to bring people together to help bring light,reality and importance of mental health awareness by sharing each others stories, having a few laughs,connecting,living positive, bettering ourselves and each other.
AlwaysGame4Life Podcast
Mental Health: The Foundation of a Stronger Self
Your mental health foundation begins with self-belief - not comparing yourself to others or allowing outside voices to define your worth. In this vulnerable and insightful conversation with Gerard, we explore the fundamental building blocks of mental well being through personal stories of triumph and struggle.
Gerard shares his journey through alcoholism, revealing how the pressure of 16-hour workdays and stress manifested in self-destructive behaviors before he discovered cognitive behavioral therapy and began rebuilding. The transformative power of understanding your "why" emerges as we discuss how embracing rather than fighting challenges - like Gerard's unexpected stuttering condition - often leads to the most profound healing.
We dive into why humans tend to believe negative feedback more readily than positive reinforcement, and how this psychological tendency creates barriers to self-confidence. Through practical examples from martial arts training to public speaking at Toastmasters, we demonstrate how celebrating small victories builds momentum toward lasting mental strength.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when we examine the distinction between defining yourself by what you do versus who you are - a critical difference that became apparent during pandemic lock downs when many lost their professional identities overnight. Finding personal passions that bring genuine joy, whether through nature exploration, creative pursuits, or physical challenge, emerges as a crucial pathway to authentic well being.
This episode offers more than inspiration - it provides actionable insights for strengthening your mental foundation. As Gerard eloquently states, "Believe in something small about yourself, and that belief will grow until it cannot be destroyed by any force on this planet." Join us in supporting mental health awareness and discover how being "Always Game for Life" starts with being kinder to yourself.
"Be good to each other and love one another because life is always game for us, so let's be always game for life!"
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Always game for life(original) written and performed by Jason Halderson
Alwaysgame4life(We stand united)(original) written by Mark Russell
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Always came for life With a heart that's strong. We stand united, knowing we belong, through ups and downs, together. We'll strive, spreading awareness For mental health, for life.
Speaker 2:Welcome to another one on the Always Game for Life podcast, where we come together, share our stories, connect, have a few laughs and maybe even inspire one another. Yes, it's good to be back. As always, I hope you are doing amazing out there, wherever you are listening or watching around the globe. Today we have a very special episode. We do, indeed we are taking part in Podcast on 2025. It's a seven-day worldwide event where all of us podcast hosts come together for seven days worldwide to bring awareness to mental health Amazing stuff so glad to be a part of it. Health Amazing stuff so glad to be a part of it as well. I've got a very special guest. I guess he's been on the show before. Some of y'all might recognize well his voice.
Speaker 3:And some of y'all might. Whoever's new, Whoever doesn't know me are the fortunate ones.
Speaker 2:You heard it. I welcome my brother Gerard.
Speaker 3:Hello everybody. It's great to be back on the show. I had a great time last time I was here. I'm looking forward to having another great time doing this podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, it's good to have you here again. This is a great video this time, so this is all new, yeah.
Speaker 3:And the great thing is about this podcast is the fact that it's about a subject that's really important to me.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:We're doing a podcast on mental health and everybody deals with it on their own way. Some people need help with it, other people take it in stride, but sometimes we just need to help people up along the way.
Speaker 2:That's very true. Yes, yes, sometimes, you know, we just need some help and some guidance.
Speaker 3:I like to really start with the basics, basics being the first question I like to ask is who?
Speaker 1:are you.
Speaker 2:Well, we touched on this, oh man. Well, I mean I can start and say I'm a lot of things as we all are. But I'm a lot of things you know, as we all are, but I'm an inspiration that you taught me so well and I love it and it makes sense you know I never meant to be like you said. I never you know, anticipated on being.
Speaker 3:Well, that's a key element, right there is when you intend to be an inspiration, you don't become that inspiration. But when you just do something for the sake of doing it, like myself, for instance, I decided to go into martial arts one day, even though I am in my 40s when I started the martial arts.
Speaker 2:Oh, no yeah.
Speaker 3:I was curious about it. I wasn't good at it at first, like no one else is Sure, but I took it in stride. I improved myself to the point where I could get better at it, but I never, ever, compared myself to anybody else, because my progress is my progress, and if I was to compare myself to the other people that were around me, I would have quit.
Speaker 2:Fair enough. Yeah, and I know, because a lot of times I did struggle with that. I always compared myself, you know.
Speaker 3:See, that's why you're doing yourself for failure right there yeah, yeah, I learned not to now, yeah there were certain things that I knew I couldn't do, like when we were playing leapfrog with kids that are less than a third of my weight. I was just like I'm willing to take the position so they can hop over me, but I'm not willing to hop over them because my weight would crush them. Fair enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fair enough.
Speaker 3:But when we're looking at things like mental health a good example is right there. Never truly compare yourself to anybody else. How do you know that that same person that you're comparing yourself to isn't also comparing themselves to you, right, yeah, you'd never know. How do you know that they're not comparing the fact that they got you got better hair than they do, maybe a little bit better muscle tone tanning whatever it may be, the more you compare yourself to somebody else is the more that you will drag yourself down.
Speaker 3:another question is why is it that I can say the most negative thing to a complete stranger and they'll take my words to heart, more than a loved one, more than their wife, more than their place name, here, as they're trying to build them up, Well, like you said, I mean we all want to believe you know, in the worst, in the negative, always it's just.
Speaker 2:I guess it's part of human nature. Yes, you know, unfortunately, that is true, we always look to that and, yeah, it's terrible, but it's true yeah.
Speaker 3:It is also hardwired into our foundation, right, which is why one of the things I've been looking into when it comes down to mental health is which is why one of the things I've been looking into when it comes down to mental health is breaking down what we have practiced in the past, breaking it down and restructuring it to address the real problem, which is our foundation.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes for sure. The more we strengthen our foundation, then the more we can figure things out for ourselves.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's important too. Figuring things out for yourself, yeah, figuring out who are you, that is always a good start.
Speaker 2:That is Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Also, when you truly love something, when you truly love somebody, you really want to strive to improve so you can embrace it. But it could also be the anchor around your neck.
Speaker 2:For sure, yes, it can.
Speaker 3:Another question, this one's easier by far An easier one.
Speaker 2:I like this Okay.
Speaker 3:Which one is more satisfying building a four-piece puzzle or a 500-piece puzzle?
Speaker 2:Oh, that is just obvious. Man the 500-piece.
Speaker 3:It's just like anything else. The 500-piece puzzle is more satisfying when you put it together, because it is harder.
Speaker 2:The struggle is there when you put it together because it is harder the struggle is there, but when you get to it then the satisfaction is well worth it. Yeah, yeah, because the more of the challenge it is for us, the better we feel for the payoff. During the payoff, because it's like, wow, that was difficult and look what.
Speaker 1:I did.
Speaker 3:And then you, yeah, you have that celebration and it's like both of us have mentioned that we have been in martial arts. Yeah, yeah, taekwondo, for instance. I've been in two different forms of taekwondo okay and what do you think number one thing that actually discourages anybody from continuing on? They started at the white belt but eventually some people just quit. But what is the number one thing that you believe that people quit for?
Speaker 2:Hmm, good question, I mean.
Speaker 3:Part of the answer we've already talked about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, obviously, no doubt we did. We talked about a lot of things, my friend. Yeah, I don't know. I mean Some people might get in their head and believe like it's difficult and they can't do it. You know the belief of I can't do this. You know it's uh.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's like one of my favorite statements. It says he who says he can and he who says he cannot are both usually right.
Speaker 2:Hmm, okay.
Speaker 3:Going into a little bit more detail is the fact that when we go into martial arts of any kind, the number one thing that we want to go for is that black belt, that expert degree in martial arts right right however, what we don't take into account is the fact that it's going to be a hard struggle.
Speaker 3:It's going to be difficult, you're going to fall on your face. It's going to be a hard struggle, it's going to be difficult, you're going to fall on your face. You're going to get hurt, oh yeah. But what we also should take into account is yeah, we all start off at the white belt. When we get a level higher than the white belt, capture and celebrate that moment, because it truly is an accomplishment. It is one step further than you were yesterday. Yeah absolutely Celebrate every achievement.
Speaker 2:Every little thing, yeah.
Speaker 3:Which also goes back to your mental health, because when we celebrate, we start to get that self-confidence Like, yes, I've done it, that part's behind me Now I'm looking forward to the future. I'm looking forward to getting that yellow belt, the brown belt, whatever. But everything deserves a bit of a celebration because we've accomplished it.
Speaker 2:Right, yes, definitely, because then, like you said, we eventually wire in our brains where, yeah, now we start believing. Now we're like, hey, I did that, oh, hey, I did that, now I'm going to do this.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and it starts becoming you know, something that's a reality in your mind, like yes.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be honest that when I first started out in martial arts I was in my 40s.
Speaker 3:I didn't actually believe I can actually get anywhere. I was in my 40s. I didn't actually believe I can actually get anywhere, but I manufactured a false sense of accomplishment. I put it out there. I manufactured my own self-confidence to the point where people actually started to believe in me and as I'm accomplishing things that I couldn't do the day before, I didn't have to manufacture that self-confidence anymore, because with that, I've also strengthened my own foundation, right, right, yes, definitely, yeah, mine was a little different.
Speaker 2:I mean, obviously, when I got into, uh, taekwondo, um, I was young, younger, a lot younger, but um, as you well know, at that age, at least in my mind, I felt like I was the tiniest thing on the planet. I mean, I was very small. So when I went in there, you can imagine, well, maybe, but I felt like I'm so tiny. Am I trying to, you know?
Speaker 3:imagine me at the polar opposite. I'm older and heavier yeah, yeah and heavier. Yeah, yeah, but I had, I can imagine. I had what I like to call a world-class instructor. The man was blind, and when I first found out that my martial arts instructor was blind, my first response was are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:I can imagine, but that's amazing though. But me I can imagine, but that's amazing though. But yeah, I can imagine First, like really.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we became really good friends and we're still friends, to this very day, in fact. He's in jujitsu now, nice.
Speaker 2:Nice, yeah, scrappling now.
Speaker 3:Yes, oh yeah, that's a little different. Yeah, scrappling now. Yes, oh yeah, that's a little different. Fortunately for him, everyone's sight is exactly the same when you're in close quarters, because you don't see nothing at times, right my goodness, wow, that's amazing man.
Speaker 2:Good, good on him, that's great.
Speaker 3:For sure, and that's also because he actually had the belief system in order for him to carry on to another martial art that he never had before.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, yeah, yeah, I guess that gave him, you know, the confidence and the belief. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, plus he's 20-something.
Speaker 2:Well you know, yeah, you're 20. I'm invincible, let's go. Yeah, oh man, yeah.
Speaker 3:But what do you think some of the biggest issues that we're having with mental health of today?
Speaker 2:Oh man, well, I know a big thing that really probably affects us all within society. It's that we're constantly go, go, go go. I got to have my kids school, I got to get to work, I got go go. I got to have my kids to school, I got to get to work, I got to make dinner, I got to do this, I got to, and then you got to go to bed and you need to do it all over, right. So, like, and I really don't think that us humans, to begin with we're actually made for that If you really look back in history, you do realize you're talking to the workaholic of all workaholics.
Speaker 3:Oh, I realize 16-hour days going from one job to the other job while picking and dropping off the wife from her job, balancing the gym, martial arts and Toastmasters. If I had three minutes in a row, I wouldn't know what to do with all that downtime.
Speaker 2:Oh man, yeah, Stretch, moan and yawn, there you go, there's that time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had a 10-minute nap. I'm ready to go back to work time. Yeah, I had a 10 minute nap. I'm ready to go back to work. But oh, one of the biggest things I realize that is hindering a lot of people's mental health is that we're allowing other people to dictate terms to us that yes, yes they're telling us how we should feel they're telling us our value in society.
Speaker 2:They're telling us how we look or how we should feel oh for sure, yeah, how to dress everything. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:It's like the keyboard cowboys of today are the cyber bullies that back in the 80s. Are the cyber bullies that back in the 80s? I'm willing to bet in my high school back in the day one of my bullies could beat up 10 of today's bullies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, oh man, yeah, keyboard warriors got to love them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, keyboard cowboys.
Speaker 2:That too, but you know you just got to try to embrace it and accept it, that if you're doing anything on the internet, it's the internet. It's going to be there and you just got to let it be. Never mind the naysayers, they're always going to be there, right, like doing my show and being online presence and stuff like that. I expect it, it comes with it. I am not made for everybody to like and that's okay.
Speaker 3:That actually brings me up to another question, not everybody's supposed to like me.
Speaker 2:That's not how it works.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's actually not a question, it's more of a statement. Actually, see how this makes you feel, because my daughter one time said to me that this person in school was giving her a hard time and making her feel bad about herself. My first question to her was do you even like that person? Question to her was do you even like that person? Do that? Does this person have any, any inspiration in your life, any impact on your life? Do you even like this person? And she said to me no, then why do you care?
Speaker 2:Right, exactly, exactly. Let them be them, don't worry about it.
Speaker 3:The only people that you should be listening to, when it comes down to any of that, is the voice that comes in your own mind. That is the only voice that you cannot get away from truly.
Speaker 2:Very true, yes, yep. But we got to make sure that we're focusing in on the positive that's right, that's right, and I just I feel like there's just not enough out there. I you know yeah, exactly yeah and uh, you know it's. It's not hard, right, you know? Find something that you enjoy. Be kind to others.
Speaker 2:You don't have to like them, you don't have to be best friends with them yeah there's nothing wrong with that, and you know, just live your life, do things that make you happy and this is also why I embrace toastmasters so much as well as martial arts yeah, more about that I believe that being good at one also helps me be better at the other okay
Speaker 3:one of the many common denominators that martial arts and toastmasters have in common is the fact that it's a very safe space for everybody to join. You don't have to be an expert, you don't have to be great at anything. First of all, you don't have to be great to start anything. You just have to start to be great. But it's a learning experience for everybody to go through at their own pace. For everybody to go through At their own pace. Both martial arts and Toastmasters have mentors in place For people to learn as they go along. Toastmasters isn't just about Delivering speeches. It's also about delivering Inspiration. It's about Gaining self-confidence While giving other people self-confidence through edification, education and support.
Speaker 2:Very nice, Okay. Okay, I didn't realize that. I mean, again, I'm short-minded. I thought you were giving speeches, public speaking and that's you know kind of what it was, and that's kind of what it was.
Speaker 3:I also hold a leadership position in the Toastmasters. I'm an area director, formerly known as the area governor. I personally prefer the governor title, but the purpose of my position within my organization is to help club presidents grow their clubs and also help their membership gain the confidence that everyone should have in their life okay, wow, nice man. There's more to it than I even thought yes, actually, if I had to talk about toastmasters only, I could probably go on for an hour.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, wow. Well, we don't want to. No, you know, bored the poor audience, true that?
Speaker 3:True that. But going back to the original conversation, about mental health. How do you think we can inspire future generations to have better mental health than we ever did before?
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, I mean, there's so many ways and simple ways to you know, just show them that it's okay it's okay to be, just to be, to be them to do what they're doing, whatever's making them happy. Whatever it is, sports gaming doesn't matter. If they're happy doing it, it's okay. Right, and that I think that's a major thing. It is okay Because I think once we get the understanding with ourselves that hey, I'm okay, it's okay to be me, it's okay to be me, it's okay, to be different.
Speaker 3:You know, and another thing too, and this is for people of my generation it's okay to feel and express things Absolutely, because there was a time when I refused to. I just shut it all down. Well, I tried to the best I could, but the end result?
Speaker 2:was disastrous. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Because your body's fighting with it. Right, You're like it wants to feel, because it's a human thing, but you're fighting with it. So, yeah, that must have been a clash.
Speaker 3:Pressure and time turn those emotions as hard as diamond. When I got older it was harder to deal with and I had a lot to deal with, but in the end I decided that I was going to study up on more cognitive behavior therapy. I wanted to get a better understanding to why everything was happening, why I decided to allow things to happen, why my depression turned into alcoholism and why I lost control of alcoholism and certain surrounding events that happened during those time frames, including why I was so poor with money.
Speaker 3:I was making money, but I had nothing to show for it based on the fact that I was spending $50 a week on or not $50 a week, $50 a day on alcohol, which turned into $350 a week $14,000 in 10 months.
Speaker 2:Wow, my goodness yeah.
Speaker 3:From what I heard, there was actually an intervention actually planned until I came out publicly stating that I quit drinking.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:But it's because I wasn't dealing with my mental health issues in a proper manner. I wasn't channeling it, I wasn't listening, I wasn't allowinging it. I wasn't listening, I wasn't allowing people in. I kept people at a distance, which also impacts people's mental health in a major degree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. See, I kind of relate because, as you know my moments where man it was brutal, I never left my place, I just dived into and I thank God no drugs or alcohol, but I dived right into video games and just that's. I wouldn't move Time out on the alcohol part. Well, okay, I drank here and there, but I wasn't like I didn't go crazy.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you didn't go crazy on the alcohol like I did. Yeah, in fact, there's times when I don't even remember going to bed for crying out loud. Yeah, but thank God I woke up in bed and not my car.
Speaker 2:Very true, good God. Yes, yeah, except for that. Well, not a sec. I mean, it's not that you woke up in there, but Actually I did. Oh, you, you woke up in there, but Actually I did. Oh, you did wake up in there at that time. Ooh, yeah, because, man, I remember that phone call.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't actually remember 4.30 in the morning bro. I don't even actually remember getting in the car.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, yeah, that's scary man.
Speaker 3:I couldn't even Wow, but in the end that triggered a lot of things for me in a positive light, because I needed to figure things out. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I just wasn't aware on how bad my mental health truly was, until COVID happened. Actually, when I was a workaholic of all workaholics, I had 16-hour days plus drive time Right right. And then when I got fired from my first job because COVID shut down the restaurant, I was like it's okay, I got a second job.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then when the second job shut down, I was like, oh man, I was lost, confused, I had no idea what to do. I felt like I needed another fix. Okay, yeah, kind of like a drug withdrawal, if you will Right, modest drugs. But yeah, I didn't realize then the impact of my mental health too, because during that time frame I also strained a lot of my relationships. I simply had no time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:But when I look back on it and I realize what I did during that time frame, I still can't believe I did that.
Speaker 2:Well, again, you know, as humans we got to try not to dwell on. You know what was and what happened, and try to learn from and go Exactly. That I'm not going to do again. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And you hit it perfectly right there because we dwell on the negative but we don't celebrate the positive.
Speaker 2:That's right, that's right.
Speaker 3:The positive thing about that particular incident that you talked about. I got behind the wheel of a car blackout drunk. I don't remember getting behind the wheel of a car.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:The upside is I didn't hurt nobody.
Speaker 2:Thank God.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, sure, I was a little bit sore in the end, but other than that, the only wreckage was my car, a fence, my pride.
Speaker 2:Right, yes.
Speaker 3:But I'll take that any day. And I had to do the responsible driving program, which gave me an insight that I never had before principal kind of, or the teacher kind of looked like principal belding from back, saved by the bell yeah, and I'm so glad that I, that I had a part in, you know, sparking a bit of that change.
Speaker 2:Yes yes, you did. You know, I made that decision to be a true ride or die.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because a lot of people think a ride or die. You know, friend is like yeah, the person you call 4.30 in the morning and before they're even like answering the phone, they're already got their you know, getting their jeans on yeah which, yeah, for sure, but I made a decision. I you know the best thing to do to be the best friend I can be, is to let things happen and pick you up at the police station of.
Speaker 3:And that was actually the best decision of all, because if I would have left at that particular time, things would have been a lot worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean I was going to go pick you up and you know, yeah, the whole nine. But yeah, instead I picked you up at the police station and just let's let things. Yeah, let's let things slide one day at a time, because I just felt like you know, you're my brother and I'd want this to change and I need you to learn. I want, hopefully, and that I did. Thank God. Yeah, that sparked a bit definitely.
Speaker 3:But the number one thing that we all have to do from time to time is we have to fall on our face. We have to fall on hard times, because that's where we truly get stronger, because we learn from it and we move forward 100%. Yes, but I'm going to quote something that I love quoting. It's from Coates Carter.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, okay, yes, nice.
Speaker 3:What do we fear the most? We fear that we are powerful beyond measure. We, when we are powerful beyond measure, we let our own inner light shine, we allow other people to shine their light and we inspire. It is our light that we fear, not our darkness. Inner light we fear it based on the fact that we are afraid of messing things up.
Speaker 2:We're afraid of failure. Exactly, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:And it's in our darkness that we take comfort, which is also where the negative energy lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And if there's one lesson that I always want people to walk away with when it comes on to any messages that I that I give is the first person that you have to believe in before you can believe in anyone else.
Speaker 2:Yeah like everything. It starts here yeah.
Speaker 3:And there are simple exercises that people can do basically anywhere to help them strengthen their foundation of mental health. Mm-hmm, what is it that you like about yourself?
Speaker 2:Right, right, you have to answer this question for yourself.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm eyes. Maybe you like your hair. Maybe, I don't know, you like your skin tone sure, whatever maybe yeah, just as long as it's one thing that's positive about yourself, because it's all in repetition, and also to believe in yourself to go forward.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm yeah.
Speaker 3:So, like I said at Toastmasters quite a few times, that there's been a couple people that have been so hard on themselves because they couldn't get their speech right. They've written it down, they've tried to memorize it, but when they got to the building they couldn't remember it for the life of them because they didn't have the confidence when they were inside the building. And I simply pointed out that, when it comes down to being here in the building, you're in a place where people are supporting you. They're not here to bring you down Right. And if you mess up a line, who cares? It's your speech, you've written it. It's not like there's somebody else over there trying to say cut because you didn't say your line right, fair enough.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally but a state of good mental health, just like anything else, starts somewhere and it has to be the person who is feeling it.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, yeah, and sometimes you just you've got to embrace things and embrace challenges, like I understand that not long, long ago you developed this stutter and and you know it's another challenge you had, you had to figure, you're still working on and figuring out.
Speaker 3:I mean that must have been something like, just like one day, just all of a sudden yeah, one day when I was at work, I was reading the bills of the orders that the people were making burgers, fries, whatever. But I was talking perfectly fine and the next thing I know I start stuttering. I also noticed something completely odd too is the fact that when I'm doing a presentation like this, as you've heard a lack of stuttering it feels, great, but it's only when I'm doing a presentation, but when I am talking individually with people, that's when the stuttering happens the most.
Speaker 3:Month that too, mike Tyson time the most the most Okay, the most, the most okay but my speech therapist also told me that the reason why I'm having an easier time to come over this challenge is because, instead of shying away from it and being self-confident because I stutter, I get down on myself because I stutter. I'm angry with myself because I stutter yeah, getting all frustrated. I embraced it.
Speaker 2:Nice, nice.
Speaker 3:Because there's something to learn from this for me and I know that I started to stutter because I needed to learn this lesson. I still don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Other than the fact that maybe don't stress out so much when my stress payload was at its maximum because I was having certain issues. Once those issues were metaphorically removed from my shoulders, that's when the stuttering went down by at least 50%. Wow.
Speaker 2:Man, stress is an incredible thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as somebody in my support group called it, it was mind-body syndrome. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, okay.
Speaker 3:To give you a better idea of it. Stress leads to ulcers. It also leads to male pattern baldness, oh yeah. Or woman pattern baldness, wherever you may be. But it also leads to a plethora of health issues Mm-hmm health issues. But when you remove some of that stress, some of it may be able to be reversed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:I'm not looking at this stutter as a curse. I'm looking at it as a lesson that I'm probably going to have to live with for the rest of my life, but it's how I handle it that's going to make all the difference in the world. My therapist has given me lots of mouth exercises in order to help limit the stuttering, and it has actually been successful.
Speaker 2:Oh, wonderful, good, good Beautiful.
Speaker 3:Good, good. And one of the reasons too that when I started to get stutter I didn't go into those depression states is because I've already strengthened that foundation. I've already gained that self-confidence.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 3:And I'm hoping to be able to do the same thing for other people.
Speaker 2:Well, help them do that for themselves. Yeah, or discover that. Yeah, for sure, a hundred percent.
Speaker 3:So another big lesson I want everyone to walk away with is the fact that Nicolas. Cage was right in Lord of War. Never go to war, especially with yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes Nice. Lots of movie quotes. I love it. I love it, big movie buff. So absolutely I love it Nice.
Speaker 3:Especially when it comes down to mental health. You can never have enough quotes.
Speaker 2:Very true, but it's like having a gym membership and you. It comes down to mental health. You know like you can never have enough quotes.
Speaker 3:Very true, very true but it's like having a gym membership and you don't go right, yes, I've known a few yes, I've actually had days where I was in the gym, where I was in the gym before the staff got there and still in the gym after they left. It's like oh, you're only doing an eight-hour day.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:But those are things that I did to boost my own self-confidence yeah, yeah because anything that you do when you're first starting out and you watch other people, they're going to know more than you you're going to walk in and you're not going to know nothing.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:In fact, if you know that you know nothing, that's the beginning, because you know something that you know nothing, right Right. But one of the things that is for everything across the board, it doesn't matter what it is. Never compare yourself to anyone else Ever.
Speaker 2:That is for everything across the board, it doesn't matter what it is, never compare yourself to anyone else Ever.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, because how do you know that that same person you just compared yourself to, how do you know that they're not comparing their selves against you?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. There's something about you that they find more attractive on you than they do on themselves yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely no, I think um some of the things that um helped me well to begin with, anyway, obviously, or you, because when you stayed with me, when I was like I don't know. Agoraphobic Sure. We'll use that term, Not quite, but thankfully.
Speaker 3:Oh, come on. The summary of times that you spent outdoors in any given week on average can be boiled down to minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it was pretty bad, but yeah. So, with you there and my ex-fiance, when I got with her, she I don't know showed me how to live again. I ended up, finally, we went camping, we went to the river, we went, you know, I just that's where it all started.
Speaker 2:Yes just that's where it all started, yes. And then, um, you know, even after we split up, you know, and uh, you know, my, my, our friend, you know I'm talking about you don't need to name names but uh, you know, he took me out everywhere, started showing me places that, you know, I never thought I've ever seen, and you know, camp, and yeah, and it just went from there and then I just started developing that love and passion that I always had for the outdoors. I mean, I always camped through my childhood.
Speaker 3:It was out fishing camping and I actually remember a small camping trip that we took. Actually, you joined me on a camping trip. I already was established with my father.
Speaker 2:Is that the one where you were caught? What you remember, that trip where I don't know if it was our friend or me. No, I think it was our friend who caught you fishing, caught you with the hook.
Speaker 3:No, we were not fishing oh that was funny. I mean, maybe not for you, but we were at Chilliwack Lake, but we weren't fishing.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, I just remember that particular trip.
Speaker 3:That would have definitely stood out in my mind.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 3:But I remember going fishing. This is a different fishing trip. This is years ago when I didn't have an excellent handle on my mental health. I was depressed, I was medicated, I was a lot of other things. I don't remember at this particular time, but it was a very dark place in my life and we went out fishing and for that brief little while I was so relaxed.
Speaker 3:I wasn't thinking about anything negative, I was just thinking about being in the moment and how funny it was when he dented his door to the point where he couldn't open it because of a badly skipped rock.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, the great four by fouring trip. I now remember now exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:Oh man, A bit of a rescue mission too, because a certain somebody went into an area and couldn't get themselves out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, good times.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, now I know exactly the moment you're talking about.
Speaker 3:Now you betcha, oh man, great times I don't know, but yeah, that's how it worked for me.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but yeah, that's how it worked for me. You know, once I developed, what do you want to do?
Speaker 3:I don't know what do you want to do so? Indecisive oh man five minutes of hearing.
Speaker 2:That that's when I took charge yep, yep, oh yeah, yeah, I was. I don't know if it was just. I mean obviously youth and you know the stage in life, but it was just that time of I don't know. It's how we answer all the time. It's just like what do you want to do? I don't know. What do you want to do? I don't know.
Speaker 3:What do you feel? Okay, great, you know where I'm going to be. Do you mind picking us up there? Great, no problem. Okay, I'll see you in the all right, we'll be there, great, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like I said, maybe last week actually was last week that we are.
Speaker 2:We are so polar opposite that it actually makes our relationship work on a level that can't be done with any other person right, yeah, yeah, we 100% confirmed that even earlier today, even Wow, yeah, but you know, that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah, if we sat here and agreed with everything. There'd be something I would like. There's something wrong.
Speaker 3:Exactly Like there's something wrong.
Speaker 2:Exactly, but you know.
Speaker 3:We just need to take into account that life is about celebrating the little things.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely Celebrating an accomplishment.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter if it's a big accomplishment, as long as it's an accomplishment. Remember, we're not here to be perfect. It's progress, not perfection.
Speaker 2:That's right yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if you have a physical problem where you can't walk, say 10 feet, but you can walk two feet, that's two feet that you can walk, and then maybe try three feet.
Speaker 2:Right, yep, yep, small steps, small steps, that's right.
Speaker 3:And then you can't walk three feet for three, four days, it's no problem. It happens, but now you can walk three feet. Now let's try four feet, then six feet, because everything has to be done on your time, that's right. If we compare each other to each other, we're always going to fall short somewhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we are. Yeah, we're two different individuals. Man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and when we fall short on something, it doesn't matter what it was, we give up on everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think that, yeah, we're the hardest on ourselves, exactly, yeah, like I said, our voice is the only voice that we can the hardest on ourselves, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like I said, our voice is the only voice that we can't get away from.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 3:I'd go on the other side of that door and get away from you. But, I can't get away from me.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:But as we're coming to a close now, what is the number one thing that you want to leave with people, to give them cause to ponder?
Speaker 2:Cause to ponder, hmm, well, the only thing I can go by is you know my my own experiences, obviously, and you know my my own experiences, obviously, and you know what helped me which might not help you, but you know, with me, I just I discovered myself. I discovered things that I enjoyed, that made me happy. You know whether it was outdoor for me outdoors, walking trails, exploring. You know photography and filming while I'm out there exploring, you know things that made me happy. It's where I am. I found my serenity, it's where I found my comfort, where I can self-reflect and self-discovery. You know, and yeah, it'll differ for all of us, but that's where my experience, that's where I found it and I find it, you know. So, find something that you enjoy doing, that makes you happy.
Speaker 3:Do you remember Farsight at all?
Speaker 2:Of course, I've seen this phrase in high school.
Speaker 3:I will never forget it for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:I am lost. I went out to find myself. If I should get back before I return, please tell me to wait.
Speaker 2:I love it. Yes, oh yes, good old Farsight Comets. Gotta love them.
Speaker 3:But the message is solid you gotta go out there and you gotta find yourself. You gotta find who you are. You got to find who you are. You got to find out who you are, not what you are.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 3:Because when we define ourselves by what we do for a paycheck, we are only defining what other people expect us to be, what other people expect us to do, because you're drawing a paycheck. When you define who you are by what you are inside, that makes all the difference in the world.
Speaker 2:Right, right, yeah, then from there you can start building that strong foundation.
Speaker 3:Just remember, it's the ripple effect and it can get bigger and bigger as it goes along, and once it gets so big, nothing can stop it. No force in the entire world can ever stop it. It's because, you put it out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the only thing I can really come with, obviously, like I said, my experience is find something you enjoy and that makes you happy. And I guess you know, don't stress over the things, especially that are that beyond our control.
Speaker 1:You know, it.
Speaker 2:I hate the saying, but it is what it is or try to embrace it Like okay, that, just that just happened. You know? Um, I remember when I first moved out here where I am, and the first month I moved out here I didn't know the place, I didn't know anyone, and the first month I moved out here I have a fire and I didn't know if I lost everything. The whole nine and I just I'm very proud of how I handled it. You know, I ended up staying in a motel. I had my laptop and I just went okay, this sucks, this just happened. What can I do? Well, I don't want to be in this place for long, right?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:So I took my laptop and I just went to work, man and, and here you know, got my place and now I've I've been in this place for four years and it's been, it's been great.
Speaker 3:I love it here well, that's another life lesson right there too, because we all struggle with things from time to time. We all struggle with, uh, with the fire. That's a setback. We deal with money problems, car troubles.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 3:When we fixate on what the problem is, we stress ourselves out to the point where all we can see is the problem. And the problem is always going to escalate right right instead, and what you just illustrated is the fact that, instead of dwelling on what the problem was, you starting to start to search for the solutions. Yes, yes, and when you remove yourself out of that problem zone, because the problem is still there, but you just have to learn how to deal with it learn how to handle it like the stuttering that I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:Right, instead of stressing about it, putting my mind into a downward spiral, which could make the things worse, I simply chose to embrace it. I chose to just say the heck with it. I stutter, I'm trying to figure out how to get better.
Speaker 2:The beautiful thing I I really admire too is like all that but one, just hearing you wanting to understand it. But hey, why? How I need to understand. Yes, you know, I think that's.
Speaker 3:I love that, I admire that, you know and when I found out what the problem is, my first thought was the problem has a name. I know how to kill it.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, the number one thing I want people to walk away with is just simply love yourself, simply believe in yourself. Believe in something small about yourself. Simply believe in yourself, believe in something small about yourself, and that belief will grow. And it will grow until it just gets to its biggest point, where the belief that you have in yourself cannot be destroyed by any force on this planet. There are going to be down times we all have those, but it's how you get up after.
Speaker 3:That makes all the difference. It doesn't matter how much we fall, because we're all going to fall on our face every now and again. Yeah, 100%. We all have to get up. Sometimes we have to get picked up but that happens, yes, it does.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you need a little help. Exactly up, yeah, absolutely wonderful. Yes, so with that said, you heard it here and man, where I mean, if for the audience, where can they find you? Any social media or anything?
Speaker 3:Well, if you really want to find me, I'm on social media. My name is Gerard Fitch on Facebook, because he wouldn't allow my real last name on Facebook. You're kidding, no.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:Even with my sister producing ID to prove it was her last name. They would not allow it to go on there.
Speaker 2:Wow, unbelievable.
Speaker 3:I chose to go with Gerard Fitch because it's actually pronounced Fick. Because it's actually pronounced Fick, the old Austrian family name from before my great-grandfather immigrated from Austria to Canada. It was spelled F-I-C-H. Along the lines it also went to F-I-C-H-T-E-R, so it became Fick to Fichter. Oh, okay, sort of like Victor with an F.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 3:But Canada Immigration put a checkmark over the C, changing it to a G forever.
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 3:Or if you really want to see me in person, check out a Toastmasters meeting in Chilliwack. Chances are you'll find me there.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, okay, well, with that said, we're going to wrap up, and please do share, subscribe, hit that notification bell so you'll be notified. So you know, whenever I put a new video up, you'll know and definitely leave a comment. You know, leave a comment If you have any questions or anything. I'd love to see some comments and questions, so please do. And yeah it just. It helps the channel grow immensely and uh, it it's appreciated more than you know and um, yeah, so for any more information, the Podcaston 2025, excuse me, brain fart, just you can go to the website podcastonorg. It'll be in the description below. You know more information if you'd like and if you'd like to donate, you know you don't have to, it's, it's not required. Um, so, yeah, thank you, and uh, I love you, I appreciate you and um, let's love each other, be good to one another be excellent to each other be excellent.
Speaker 2:Yes, bill and Ted, baby all the way. Yes, but yeah, let's love one another, be good to each other, because life is always game for us, so let's be always game for life and keep your stick on the ice absolutely we'll see you on the next one. Bye, we'll see you on the next one. Bye for now, guys.
Speaker 3:See you in the funny papers.
Speaker 1:Bye for now. The heart that's strong. We stand united, knowing we belong the wants and downs together. We'll strive, spreading awareness for mental health for life. Bye.
