AlwaysGame4Life Podcast
A podcast to bring people together to help bring light,reality and importance of mental health awareness by sharing each others stories, having a few laughs,connecting,living positive, bettering ourselves and each other.
AlwaysGame4Life Podcast
Unearthing Strength in Challenges, inspiring evolution.
What if you could turn your life around, overcome your biggest challenges and emerge stronger and wiser? My brother and dear friend, Gerard Fighter, not only asked himself this question but took the bold steps to make it reality. He quit drinking, mastered the discipline of martial arts, and climbed to the position of area director and club president of Toastmasters International. His story is a compelling testament to the transformative power of resilience.
Gerard's journey wasn't a solitary one. In our conversation, he underscores the importance of a supportive network during rough patches. We delve into the philosophy of 'cruel to be kind' and how the hardest choices often prove to be the best in the long run. Drawing on his own experiences, Gerard shares the wisdom he gleaned from a grueling hike on a scorching day and the importance of being prepared for martial arts tournaments.
Wrapping up our conversation, we underscore the importance of self-care, gratitude and kindness. The lessons learned from Gerard's life journey serve as a beacon of hope, showing us that even the most daunting struggles can be a catalyst for growth and development. So, tune in, immerse yourself in Gerard's inspiring story, and perhaps, you might uncover a fresh perspective to confront your own challenges.
Always game for life(original) written and performed by Jason Halderson
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"Be good to each other and love one another because life is always game for us, so let's be always game for life!"
Always game for life(original) written and performed by Jason Halderson
https://linktr.ee/AlwaysGame4Life
https://alwaysgame4lifeshop.com
Facebook: @alwaysgame4life
Instagram:alwaysgame4life
Snapchat:Alwaysgame4life
alwaysgame4lifepodcast@gmail.com
http://Toastmasters.org
bcrarebirdrecords.ca
Hey, and welcome back to another one on the Always Deem For Life podcast, where we come together, share stories, connect and have a few laughs. I hope everybody is doing amazing out there, wherever you are listening to this show in the world. And today I have a very, very special episode Very excited about. Actually it's a very, very close dear friend of mine, or brother, I should say and yeah, without further ado, let's just get to this. Let me introduce to you my dear friend, gerard fighter.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, everybody out there listening.
Speaker 1:How's it going, man? How's it going I'm?
Speaker 2:doing pretty good. Life is always good, especially when you have the right mentality and you have the support behind you.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. So what's what you've been facing here? It's been so long, I mean since we connected and see each other and Well, on a personal level, I've actually been sobering up quite a bit.
Speaker 2:I've given up drinking for the last 14 months. I've also put in an extremely amount of good efforts into promoting Toastmasters International, as I was the area director for two years or I like to call it the area governor, it sounds more official.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:And last year I was also club president for the Chiloha Toastmasters. In the last little while I've also been hitting the gym like I used to back in the day before I let the drinking take over.
Speaker 1:Very, very nice. Well, congratulations, thank you. That's awesome to hear, man. I'm very happy for you Still doing more sorts and I know you were pretty heavy into it for a while there and you were up to like brown.
Speaker 2:Actually, I'm actually up to red decided, which is one step below black belt. Unfortunately, I'm not able to do that particular at this particular time, based on the fact that I simply don't have the time. Okay, I need to get a better job, or I can work during the day and then do what I need to do at nights, where right now I can only have a selective number of nights to be able to do anything at all. And right now it's dedicated towards working on my Toastmasters ability.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. So what surrounds that then? Like what, what's like. What do you actually do with that? What's this Toastmasters all about?
Speaker 2:The general theme for Toastmasters is building yourself up as well as others. There is no room for anybody in Toastmasters to be completely negative and tear anybody down. We got the rest of the world for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, no doubt, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:Other than the obvious, but with the public speaking form, with Toastmasters represents. It also affords people the opportunity to develop their leadership skills. Become part of the executive group and also the division and also the area to develop your leadership skills there to be able to be more personable than you were before.
Speaker 1:Wow, okay, okay, my goodness. So like is this man that sounds so huge? Like, what do you? Where can you use this type of experience?
Speaker 2:You know, like it would be a shorter list for me to tell you where you cannot use it.
Speaker 1:Okay, the skills that you actually learn from.
Speaker 2:Toastmasters are transferable, for a professional reason as well as a personable reason to be able to have a conversation with another individual and not be that socially awkward person like I used to be a few years ago. That is partly due to the Toastmasters. When we come together, we have our meetings, we're all about evaluations to help build people up what you excel, that and where you, where you could improve on in a helpful environment. That's not judgmental.
Speaker 1:Beautiful, beautiful. It sounds good, it's obviously I'm still socially awkward.
Speaker 2:We all start somewhere, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's true, that's true. So what else? What else has you been doing? I mean, it's been quite some time, man.
Speaker 2:Well, right now, considering I have actually stepped back from a lot of the authority places and Toastmasters, I'm focusing in on the more personable side of myself, developing my relationships with my wife and my family. I'm trying to really help build them up. Now, too, it's my personal goal in life to help build and bring everyone up around me Because, like I said earlier, the world is full of negativity. It's tearing people down.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And I just want to be that person that helps bring people up. I know for a fact I cannot improve the world around me. I can only do my best to improve the people around me and make it that much better.
Speaker 1:Right, right or spark the minds that make the change. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you know what I built this podcast all about. You know, and sharing our stories and our experiences and, you know, hopefully connecting on a level where we relate. You know we can relate and understand. You know, whatever we're going through or went through, you know, because a lot of the struggles which I don't like that word, but a lot of the struggles, there's similarities, you know, to each one, really, when you think about it.
Speaker 2:The thing is with the struggles in which you were trying to go around is the fact that sometimes the struggles really develop who and what we are. If we go through the struggles knowing that things are going to get better, then things are going to get better. If you go through the struggles with the giving up attitude, and that's exactly what's going to happen. One of my favorite quotes out there dictates he who says he can and he who says he cannot are both usually right.
Speaker 1:Wow, I love it. Yes, yes, I love it. That's, that's, uh, that's so much true. Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:Also to quote coach Carter. It was a beautiful statement.
Speaker 1:That too.
Speaker 2:The statement I'm referring to is the fact that oh how does it say again Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure.
Speaker 1:You know, that makes a lot of sense too when you're out to stop and think about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:In many different ways I can think of yeah, it's because we also take solace in our in the darkness as opposed to embracing the light which sparks in all of us.
Speaker 1:Right, wow, wow, powerful stuff today.
Speaker 2:I'm partly philosopher, but I'm also employed, so I'm also useful.
Speaker 1:Beautiful Geez. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's just been so long. Like I, you know, for myself, I've been just working on really embracing the whole wow that I initially created after an walk on wave. It's you know, and the beginning of it is the whole biggest thing is letting go, right? Yeah, so you know, purging all that childhood trauma, whatever trauma, maybe just childhood trauma, whatever trauma, and just letting it go. And I know that's easier said than done, for lots of people it is.
Speaker 1:It is. But you know, I truly believe and it makes sense to me too where you know, like this whole wow thing created. We live in the now and we can live in the near now. You know, I can sit here and we can make plans, you know, for a little while later, watch a movie or go out. We can live in the near now, we can live in the now, but we can't live in the future, and we definitely can't live in the past. It's already gone.
Speaker 2:Yes, like my captain from Eric Cadets actually said to me one time when I was young, I didn't fully understand it and I didn't actually appreciate these words as much as I do now. Now he said you can't live life looking in your rear view mirror.
Speaker 1:Right, I like that one too. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah. So I just been working really hard with that and really focusing with my screenplay, which is based on my life and experiences, which you know a lot of, if not all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm actually I have to say, I'm actually really impressed with the progress that you've actually made. At one time I was actually worried that you're going to become agoraphobic. Wow, really Like thank you, I guess To give you context behind it agoraphobic is a person who fears open spaces, and I never seen you out of your apartment for more than what you minimum had to go to the grocery store right to the doctor's office, but every other time I've ever seen you, you've always been in your apartment, sitting exactly in the middle of your couch, playing whatever video game that you're playing at the time yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't. I never once really seen you watch TV. I never watched like a movie every now and again. But primarily, your game system has always been on the go and I swear to God, you wanted to be also buried with one of your game systems.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you don't remember to excuse me at that time. You know I was in a very crucial moment in my life. I mean that's when my children were apprehended, and you know actually dates back before that too.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but I mean speaking more recently. But yeah, it definitely dates back. Obviously I was younger, absolutely, but you know, as I got older that that carried on and I was even worried about that. But I, yeah, I thought I was in a very Dark time. You know my, my kids got apprehended. I was entering a battle or war, whatever you want to call it, that I have never obviously experienced or or Been in before. Yeah, I had no idea how to even approach, what to do, where to go, all that stuff, so I was just lost. Obviously, I mean you know my children.
Speaker 1:Yeah and yeah. So I really fell deeply, I think, Into a type of depression, obviously for sure, where I just felt lost. I felt that I failed my children. I didn't know what was gonna happen, where it was gonna go, where they were gonna go Excuse me, if I was ever gonna see him again, stuff like that, you know it rains in my mind and, of course, at that time, which was quite a few years ago now, thank God, but, um, at that time there was still the beginning of those changes and I experienced it first hand where, at first, when, when everything went down it, the father was just the father.
Speaker 1:That's that right. We weren't listened to you, weren't, you know? We didn't. It just felt like we, why are we even here? Why am I going to court, like you're not even looking at me, I don't, you know? And then, gradually, through the years because it was years of court I Actually did through the change and it was really actually neat to see. But finally, you know, they I started existing, they started actually listening to me, getting to know me, where my heart lied, you know, with this whole situation and my children.
Speaker 2:So, the sad reality of that, that particular matriarchal, matriarchal Society in which you were just describing, is the fact that a Lot of men in your exact position they would have washed their hands and given up on the entire situation, and that is why the structure exists the way how it is now.
Speaker 1:Right?
Speaker 1:well, I want to tell you father's day, but they don't want to put in the effort to be that actual father right, right, and of course you know that's Making it rough and hard on the ones that do yes, but yeah, but let me tell you I there was moments when I wanted Nothing more but to give up. I mean, there is a time I remember being on the phone with my mother and just In tears, like just just lost right to the edge, and I was like I'm done. They'll see me when they see me, they'll find me when they get older, like all this you know.
Speaker 2:I was actually there during the time.
Speaker 1:One of those times you were, yes, you were talking about, and I did believe.
Speaker 2:I threatened to put my foot up your backside if you didn't straight up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, you've always been amazing support man. I'm glad and blessed to have you in my life. I mean, you know we've always been close and oh yeah, you know You're the one you Out of few, out of very few people that are just there in a second notion, you know.
Speaker 2:It's a two-way street. You've been there for my dark side. In fact, I cracked up and I found out that cracking up isn't all that's cracked up to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean I gotta say that that one time I did you know jump for you. I really thought that I was.
Speaker 2:Which time would that be? Would it be the time that I had a mental breakdown when we went fishing? Would it be the time that my dad got me into a car accident and we went to the superstore?
Speaker 1:I mean.
Speaker 2:Would it be the time where I needed a place to stay and work and you had a very convenient place for me to stay at? Would it be the time that we had hours of conversations because I was breaking down? Which time would that be?
Speaker 1:Oh man, yeah, we got so many. Actually, the time where I went, you called me I think it was four in the morning, four in the morning and I came to rescue you.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, that time.
Speaker 1:Because you Unmessed up.
Speaker 1:Back when you're drinking and made decisions, wrong decisions. At first, I gotta be honest, I was really torn with myself making the decision that I made right Because obviously, as a friend, close friend, brother, whatever you want to call it you want to just yeah, I'll save you. I mean, I'm there for you. But I'm definitely super glad that I did make the decision I made, just allowed it to go on and get caught because I mean I was just going to pick you up and whatever right, I told him to cover up.
Speaker 2:Well, the thing is too and Shakespeare described it best is sometimes you have to be cruel, to be kind Also, in order to be a good friend. Sometimes you just need to let that other one fall in their face and learn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just hope and pray that the turnout ends up well and we're still connected. I know a lot of people.
Speaker 1:At least you were younger, for sure, you know what it just you know, you just screwed your friend over, it's like but yeah, and I guess that's one thing I was worried about, because I was just like oh my god, is this gonna, you know, put a you know spike in our Friendship or relationship, or you know if I allowed that to happen, I know there'll be a reflection more on me than it would have been on you.
Speaker 2:You guys, I've been, yeah, no, I, I understand that now.
Speaker 1:I mean, at the time, though, in the position Of being the one to make that decision, or it's like For me to make that decision, I feel like I was doing it, it would be on me. But no, I do understand now. Yeah, but yeah, no, I'm very glad that I decided to do it because I just I wanted to do right and you know, again, I got so much love for you, I was just like I, I want to do the right thing for you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Also in reflection. Sometimes what feels right right now, it's gonna turn out to be the wrong thing tomorrow. So by making the decision that you made at that time actually did more for me in the long run than it would have done for me in the short run.
Speaker 1:That's true, yeah, yeah, yeah, in the long run it definitely, definitely. I mean I couldn't be more happier and probably are now and where you've come. I mean.
Speaker 2:I say the same about you as well.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I appreciate that. I mean I, I try it's, it's, it's hard, you know.
Speaker 2:If it wasn't hard, then it wouldn't be worth doing that's true.
Speaker 1:That's that's one thing my grandmother always told me. You know, I always took that with me. If it's not a challenge, it's not worth it, Wouldn't be worth it. Yeah so, yeah and yeah. So, Going back to that, yeah, I was at a dark time at that time.
Speaker 2:So we all have those dark times. The people who truly succeed in those dark times are the ones that who that do not allow those dark times to define who in what they are. Fair enough, yeah and don't forget, it's always darkest before the light.
Speaker 1:Very true, very true. You know, my only hope is, by doing this podcast and whatnot you know, to inspire others that are in such a position or spot or mind shape you know to, to Know that they're not alone and there is a light. Like you said, there always is a light, you know.
Speaker 2:The only reason by people feel alone and this is one of my leading theories is because they surround themselves with people that make them feel that way. It's better to have that one or two people in your life that will always be there at your side. I'd never liked that term. People are behind you every step of the way. Why are they behind me? Come up, come closer brave right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd rather you beside me. Yeah, I'm making a lot of sense there. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna came down to like my martial arts. I Always heard you know we're behind you every step of the way. Take a couple steps forward, because this, beyond this together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, side each other. Yeah, exactly, yeah, I love it. Yeah, yeah, so what are some of the things you know that you, some of the trials and tribulations that you, you had to work through to you know, because I know you had the form of the Depression and the anxiety, all that, like you went through a lot too.
Speaker 2:It all stepons back from my early childhood, when I was actually born. Of course, I don't have any memories of that, but I Was born with epilepsy, which actually hindered a lot of my abilities. I also got told a lot that I couldn't Do anything. I wouldn't be able to graduate high school. I wouldn't Anything close to a normal life. The only thing that that did was it pissed me off to the point where it fueled my fire and it's like okay, you don't believe I can do this, watch me.
Speaker 1:Right, right yeah.
Speaker 2:I was also tired of the white glove, handled with care, fragile Attitude that people had around me because, of my epilepsy.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:It's like why are you doing this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'm not glass.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Fortunately for me that, because it was an early childhood Illness that I had for my brain, is a fact, that in early childhood the the brain is actually able to rewire itself to heal itself, whereas if I was to go through the same problem right now, I would not have that ability to Recover as well as I did in the past. Okay also in the early 80s, there was literally almost nothing known about epilepsy and and, as a result, the Mortality rate was absolutely Stupendously high.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, I never realized that, man jeez, I'm glad that that changed. Yes, my goodness, yeah, because I mean I I've had sort of an experience of that, not myself, but on the outside, not only with you, but one of my exes I won't reveal names she had an attack and she passed away. They found on the code, and very sad.
Speaker 2:Yes, sort of like a friend of mine who was a third-degree black belt and Sun hang dough. He was walking along the river or jogging I'm not quite certain which one Mm-hmm. He had an epileptic seizure and he drowned in that river.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, man, that's, that's tough. It is yeah.
Speaker 2:Considering that he has, that he had achieved one of the goals that I want to achieve and I would want him to be there with me as I was doing it. Unfortunately, right, that's not gonna happen, but he's there with me and I was gonna say still well, yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah Wow.
Speaker 2:And other one of my martial arts instructors. He was blind, mostly blind, but it was a second-degree black belt and I have to say it's quite impressive to be able to achieve that Even with the severely limited ability to see things. It also helped me to realize that, next to him, my challenges aren't that bad and if I work at it I can actually achieve anything true, very true.
Speaker 2:It also says in my Facebook page, posted just posted earlier today, is that I'm doing a lot of things today that I wasn't able to yesterday, and tomorrow is going to be the same.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, yes, yes, yes. We hope to yes. Yeah, yeah, my goodness.
Speaker 2:We all strive to be better, but few of us put in the efforts to make it so.
Speaker 1:Right, right. We all want the results and yeah, not all of us put the work into it. I get them, I get that for sure. You know it's the same as you know working out. You know, yeah, pump like madman. You know you want those quick results. Clearly I get it. But you know, that's wrong, you're not going to get the same results. You're going to hurt yourself, right.
Speaker 2:Especially if you pump it really fast, like you described, because you're not doing yourself any justice. In fact, you're making yourself look like an idiot when you're doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:The slow, controlled lifting, as well as a balanced workout for the whole body. That's what you want to do. You don't want to spend hours upon hours in cardio. Sure, you might get good legs as a result, but that's about the extent of it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I get you. You want to balance out the whole body, right? So your legs match your torso, and so on and so forth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't want to look like a Dorito one way or another, massively large on one side.
Speaker 1:E-d-b-e-d on the other side like on the bottom side. Yeah, and you also want to make sure you work out that other muscle called the brain.
Speaker 2:That's why I go to Toastmasters.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, you don't want to have this beautiful, huge body. E-d-b-e-d-i-q.
Speaker 2:It's like that guy I love so much on Free Guy, that massive guy with the blue shirt tattoo no brains.
Speaker 1:Great show.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, ryan Reynolds a good actor.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes and from here, Scott's one actually.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, but yes, more specific yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, more specific. Yeah, yeah, man. So you still do your hikes or anything Like I know I remember you're doing those crazy. I forget what they're called. You have to excuse me. Actually, I don't do those anymore.
Speaker 2:Again. I just don't have the time for those anymore. The rationality behind that was I was tired of hearing how bad Chiloac was to live and how ugly and how dismal life is in Chiloac and I wanted to highlight how beautiful it truly is, how many escapes you can go on and find Something truly remarkable. That is the same everywhere you look. If you live in Vancouver, I'm sure there's beautiful places there, but you have to look for it. If you look for everything that's miserable anywhere you go, that's exactly what you're going to find. That's right, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was very amazed even when I moved out here just a little over a year ago, learning different trails and parks. And that ledge view I did, oh, when I climbed the mountain man, yeah, there's some beautiful places out there. Especially if you're sold into nature and nature walks or hikes. So many beautiful trails, mountains, lakes.
Speaker 2:If you had the time, I'd suggest doing the Mount Chiem hike. Okay, I'll have to remember that one. It's a beautiful hike. Learn from my example. Don't wear jeans. Wear shorts, wear sweatpants, but don't wear jeans. Okay, fair enough, I went on the hottest day of the year, when the weather was so hot. I went on the hottest day of the year when the smoke was so heavy that it was hard to breathe.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 2:I also took a case of water up there with me. Half of it was frozen, the other half was, you know, water. People made fun of me because I had frozen water in my backpack and when I was at the top of the mountain I was Mr Popular.
Speaker 1:Oh, I bet.
Speaker 2:I could have charged $5 a bottle. Easy call it, the friends and family discount.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 2:Oh, you want a bottle of water $20.
Speaker 1:It's funny how that works. Yeah, yeah, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no, I uh, I made sure I. Yeah, I wear shorts. I bring my water bottle. As always, I bring my first aid kit snaps, you know, my camera. I mean, I always I packed it.
Speaker 2:Also another lesson I learned when I was in martial arts. During the time I was in a prestige martial arts tournament, I learned a hard way to bring snacks during something like that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Because when I was burning high, I was revving high. My energy was so high that I was burning and my focus was so clear that this is what I wanted to do, that when it was all over and I was able to take that step back, I collapsed because I had nothing left.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:It was all due to the fact that I wasn't hydrated enough and I did not have any snacks, which there was plenty of opportunity for me to do. Sure yeah, no excuses I had a clearance sale not that long ago. For all my excuses, all of them had to go. It costs. You want them here? Take six.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you imagine we had an archive of them. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Finally I, you know, found that balance and that you know where I want to need to be. I know it took a long time, but I'm just glad that I did and finally, like I said, let go, no matter what it is, you know, so you can fill with more right. You know like the philosophy of a garbage can right. You have a garbage can.
Speaker 1:You have a garbage can in your home. You keep filling with garbage. We got to bring it out to put more in, or else it's going to be nasty in here. Right, One same idea. We got a purge right so we can fit more and hopefully more positive and happier memories and whatnot.
Speaker 2:Exactly, you got to take the good with the bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. But yeah again, you know, live in the now man, live in the wow the near now. Yeah, let go number one. But yeah, this is um, this has been been a slice man. I'm really, really glad that you're able to come out, hang out and uh, yeah, it's been a while. It's good to see you.
Speaker 2:Yes, good to see you too, and I'm actually glad to get the word of postmasters out there. It's a organization for everybody, as long as they're willing to be able to accept the fact that they're not the only people on the planet. And you can access toasters from everywhere, including your own living room, because there's always lots of online meetings from Skype.
Speaker 1:You know what? We will put, whatever we need to, in the description. Maybe they can, you know, check it out for themselves. Yeah, absolutely Sounds good to me.
Speaker 2:The thing also about toasters is the fact that it's always free to check it out. You don't have to pay anything just to check it out and see what it's about.
Speaker 1:Right right Passport.
Speaker 2:You can be free.
Speaker 1:Yep, no doubt.
Speaker 2:And even as the paid member, it's actually one fee every six months, so literally it's the cheapest subscription you can actually get.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, so make sure you guys, if you're interested, check it out. You know everything will be in the description. And again, thanks so much for coming out and it's been awesome and good seeing you. Again and again, I love you, I appreciate you and I can't express my thanks more for the love, the support, the patience that you've had for me and this podcast, and please remember to subscribe, follow all those beautiful things, rate, review the show. It helps the podcast grow and bring more great episodes and conversations. And yeah, so let's do that. I appreciate everything and, like I always say, you know, let's love one another, let's be good to each other, because life's always been for us, so let's be always being for life. All right, peace and love everybody. I saw we scared for us.
Speaker 1:Thanks so much for watching.
